Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Valentine Q & A with the Girls Night In Authors

SONY DSCSo, what do the writers at Girls Night In think about Valentine’s Day and all those romantic notions connected to it? Well, let’s just dive right in. . . .

* How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?

Leasey:  This year I totally feel indifferent. Really. I am not excited. I am not bummed. It feels like Veteran’s Day–kind of important but not really directly applicable to me.

Jackie:  I like to wear red. And celebrate all kinds of love.

Shirlee:  I now enjoy it. For the longest time, it simply reminded me of not having what I thought was reality but I have since come to realize that my ideals were just that—ideals, and not reality. I wanted to be in relationship with that perfect man but now, I am so very happy celebrating Jesus and His love for me.

Tammie:  In my 20s I struggled with Valentine’s Day since I was often unattached at that time. I had a real desire to get married and this one day just seemed to mock my single status. Over the years I’ve tried to focus more on love in general than on romantic love. I try to find activities to share with my family and friends and relish the love that God has spread over my life.

Sharyn:  Though I’m certainly at a better place where Valentine’s Day is concerned, that doesn’t mean the idea behind the day won’t, occasionally, get to me. I had two options this year but ended up staying home, mostly because of the weather. Everything was fine until all the love talk on Facebook started to get to me and I needed to pull away. And eat something chocolate.

* Do you believe in soul mates? Why or why not?

Tammie:  The term soul mate has become a touchy subject these days. Whether we call them soul mates or not, I do believe God has a plan for each of us that includes whether we marry and who we marry. Being pretty certain that God revealed a purpose in my singleness until I was in my forties, I also believe that if God has destined me for marriage, He has also ordained a specific man to be my husband.

Jackie:  Not sure what it means. But I do believe God brings two people together in His way and in His timing to accomplish His purposes.

Leasey:  I do! I like the thought that God has created me for someone in particular, and vice versa. But I also think most successful marriages are just two people who are committed to loving one another and not that people were destined to be together.

Shirlee:  I’m not sure if I believe in soul mates or not. What I don’t believe in is love at first sight.

Sharyn:  I don’t believe there is only one person for you—such a perfect fit that you were destined to be together. But I do believe God has a plan and if that plan includes marriage, He knows exactly who that person will be. Then, when you commit to loving each other til death, you become soul mates.

* How will/did you celebrate Valentines Day this year?

Jackie: My friend Denise has a party every year for our single women friends. We celebrate the love of friendship with food, games, prizes and fun!

Shirlee: I’m not sure. I do want to buy myself some flowers and might go to the movies. Treat myself to the first movie at a theater since moving here.

Tammie: I don’t have specific plans for Valentine’s Day this year.

Sharyn:  First, I hoped to make it to a party about an hour away. Then, I planned to hang out with my family. But it snowed so I stayed home, made an Oreo cream pie and watched the Olympics.

* Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

Shirlee:  No . . . it’s lust at first sight. One grows into loving someone as they get to know them.

Leasey:  I definitely think it’s possible. I have heard plenty of couples say they knew the other person would be their spouse from the moment they saw them. And they got married shortly after meeting and stayed married!

Jackie:  No. It is most likely LUST at first sight because real, genuine love requires you to know someone. You don’t know someone you just met.

Tammie:  I don’t believe in love at first sight since it by nature can only be based on surface aspects. I think love comes not from what we see with our eyes, but from what we learn about a person’s character and personality.

Sharyn:  Several of my friends have said they “just knew” from the moment they met their  future spouse.  They didn’t call it “love at first sight” but they certainly felt a sureness in their heart that this person would play an important role in their life. Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel all seem to be biblical examples of LaFS. If you’re mature enough to know the difference between physical attraction and a deeper connection that is God-ordained, then why not?

* Do you have any V-Day traditions? If so, what are they?

Sharyn:  Not really. Though I have hosted and attended several parties that included fondue—cheese for dinner; chocolate for dessert. I wouldn’t mind making that a tradition!

Jackie:  Attend a party with other single women friends.

Shirlee:  Nope . . . no traditions. Maybe I should start making some though.

* What’s an out-of-the-box idea you can share for ways single women can celebrate this holiday?

Jackie:  Don’t focus on the love you don’t have, focus on what you do have. There are many types of love. Be grateful for the love of family, friends and others. Show them and tell them they are loved too.

Shirlee:  Invite a group of girls over and have a movie night eating your favorite junk food. Have flowers sent to yourself.

Sharyn:  Have a theme party! For instance, when I was in high school my Sunday school teacher invited us to an agape supper. We sat on the floor, eating fondue (yes, that’s where that started!) and sharing what we liked about each other. Another time, I hosted a princess party, where several of my girlfriends dressed as their favorite royal. We ate dainty finger food and played games.

Leasey:  I like the idea of sending single friends real quality chocolate, even if it’s just a piece or two. They will get the chocolate and remember they are really, truly loved, even though they might not have a man.

Now, it’s your turn! How would you answer these questions? Feel free to share in the comment section.

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