Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Who we are …

Welcome to our blog!

In the fall of 2013, five writers joined forces to create a blog for other women navigating the same single, over-40 waters of life, like you! Though time and commitments have dropped our number to three, we’re ready to delve into the hopes and heartaches of singleness, and we’re not afraid of the tough topics and sticky questions.

So, if you have something you want to talk about, just ask. It’s more than possible at least one of us knows what you’re working through. We come from all over with a variety of backgrounds.

Want to know more about us? You’ve come to the right page!


Fickas Headshot


Hello! My name is Tammie Fickas and like many little girls, I dreamed of fairy tales and handsome princes. The years went by and reality set in; the world is full of disappointments and fairy tales don’t always happen in the way little girls expect.

So I did the logical thing. I got on with life. College, jobs, apartments, friends, dates, new cars, bills and myriad other things. Deep inside, the fairy tale still lived, but as years passed, hopes dimmed and dulled.

In March of 1997, I gave my heart to the Lord and stepped into an amazing story of love, grace and forgiveness. After years of searching, I found that dreams do come true (sometimes in the most unexpected way) when I became a daughter of the one true living King.

The journey since that day in 1997 hasn’t always been easy. Life still happens and with it heartache, loss and grief as well as joy, love and beauty.

During this journey, in the midst of a great pain and loss, God spoke of purpose and His plans for my life. He bathed me in His presence even during that hardest part of my life to date. That purpose made all the years prior meld into a picture of the bigger plan.

These days I am finding new purpose in my singleness here at Girls Night In. It is my desire that you will find hope, encouragement and strength here. Know that the Lord loves you and He has great plans for you, even in this period of life.




If you always laugh,
You’ll never cry.
If you never get wet,
You’ll always stay dry.

I wrote that little poem when I was only five . . . and I’ve been writing ever since. For as long as I can remember, my dream was to write about love. Sweet little romances or exciting adventures of the heart. Or maybe a little of both. Of course, all of this would be inspired by my own glorious love story!

Funny how life doesn’t always turn out the way we think it will. Decade after decade skipped by without a romance of my own. I rarely dated. No one kissed me or even held my hand. When I hit 40, it seemed to not only kill my dreams of marriage and family, but those of being a romance novelist as well.

Now I’m 50, still dreaming of a love story. My path toward publication, though, is at last going somewhere. I recently released my first novel, Spinstered, which tells the story of three women struggling with the heartaches and hopes of being single after 40. I hope to publish a nonfiction version titled Spinstered: Surviving Singleness After 40 within the next few months.

God has certainly taken my life in a direction I never imagined, but I’ve learned to trust His heart of goodness toward me. And I think of what Jesus said in John 16:33 — “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Have you had trouble? Do you struggle with your singleness or loneliness or even where you fit into the world? Or are you looking for others who’ve been-there, done-that … people you want to enjoy the journey with?

Whatever the reason that brought you here, I’m so glad you’re a part of our story!


Alease in summer


Hello ladies! My  name is Alease A. Brown (Leasey to my friends, which I hope we will become) and here’s a little about me: I love Jesus, am an exuberant worshiper, and have recently kindled new interests in football, cooking and crocheting, while continuing to be a Super-Auntie to nine nieces and nephews and one grand-nephew. (I’m too young to be a grand-aunt!) In addition to blogging, I am a budding scholar, a speaker, a former attorney and a woman on a journey.

After I reached the big 4-0 a while back I came face to face with the reality that I did not like my life, and that I needed to make some changes. Big changes. So after much prayer, and baby steps that got bigger and bigger, I eventually left the frantic pace and cold weather of New York and relocated to beautiful Durham, North Carolina, to pursue my dream of studying theology. And may I just say, ladies, that I am having the time of my life!

Since I am living a dream come true like this, it gives me hope that my other dream, the dream of meeting the right man and getting married to him, might also come true. My marriage dream, however, has been so battered and bruised and so long deferred that some days I just want to give it up. You understand. In spite of how I sometimes feel, though, I persevere in hope. My sincere prayer as we take this blog journey together is that we will be able to encourage each other with how the Lord is answering our long-prayed prayers, and that we will also encourage each other with reports of how the Lord is working marvelously in our lives as we wait expectantly.

God’s best awaits!  I’m excited that we’re moving toward it together.


2 responses to “Who we are …

  1. rebflections says:

    Thanks for having this blog.
    I too am an older single woman, never married, dreams come and go, some shattered, some slip away, some still around.
    I have an amazing amount of experiences as a single, good, bad, so-so, horrible.
    So…it’s nice to feel a bit of comraderie to this blog.
    Thanks for sharing.

  2. sharynkopf says:

    Thank you for joining us here at Girls Night In, Rebecca! I know exactly what you mean about dreams and experiences. I hope you will find encouragement here.


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