Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

We’re Waiting

on November 12, 2015
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

I am in the final days of working out which institution I will be studying at during the next season of my life. After long weeks of emails, connections being made, and plans being firmed up and then revised, after weeks of driving motion to work out the details, I have reached a point of stillness. I have done all I can do and now I must be still and wait. I have to wait for those with decision-making power to get back to me with their final word. I have to wait for God to do the thing that God does where, regardless of what the final word is from people, He mysteriously opens doors (or closes them), and the unlikely and improbable happen (or the likely and probable don’t happen).

Out of all the things that are hard to do, waiting is one of the hardest.

Whether we are waiting for Dad’s surgery to be done, waiting for the closing on the house to happen, waiting for Junior to find sobriety for real, or waiting for good love, we reach a point when calls to the hospital or to the bank, or checking on Junior or on our ChristianMingle.com contact page has all been done, and all we can do is wait.

I’m discovering that my impatience with waiting is generally fear-based and a sign of my not being present in the present. I dread that the thing I hope for will not come to be, and I need to know the outcome immediately to allay this fear. Waiting, though, causes me to marinate in fear until the flavor of fear has permeated my whole being. Not only does waiting allow fear to fester, but waiting keeps my focus on that point in the future, just out of my sight range. I take my eyes off today, thinking and ruminating about what might (not) be.

This does not have to be the case, though. What if in my waiting, I accepted that there are no dreadful outcomes? That there is only Christ, who loves me and is with me come what may. What if in my waiting I shifted my focus from tomorrow to today, to right now? What if I thought about how to enjoy the hours I spend with Dad, or how to de-clutter my environment wherever I will live, or how to love Junior without hurting myself, or how to love myself and my life without waiting for a partner to share it with me?

What if waiting didn’t involve worried anticipation about tomorrow but instead involved filling the present with goodness as we look forward to the things for which we wait?

After all, our ultimate wait—for the glorious appearance of our Lord—requires us to do just that.

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