Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Mostly Random Thoughts on My Single Life

on October 30, 2015
Author Photo

Photo by Susie Jarvis/Waterkopf.

Let me start by being completely honest: I went trick or treating with my nieces and nephew and their friends tonight and enjoyed some of the fruit—and by “fruit” I mean “candy”—of their labor. So I’m still coming down from a bit of a sugar rush. As a result, I’m having a little trouble staying focused.

Seems as good a time as any to write an article I’ve been mulling over for a few weeks—random thoughts on the single life. Feel free to add your own at the end.

  1. For the most part, I’ve made my peace with living alone. But there are still times when it scares the Skittles out of me.
  2. My life would be easier if I were more organized.
  3. While most women my age are looking forward to menopause, I am intensely aware of the fact that it will mean the death of the children I will never have.
  4. My life would be so much easier if I was good with money.
  5. Every once in a while I realize I’m talking with someone who equates singleness with immaturity. That drives me crazy.
  6. My life would be immensely easier if I had a regular job.
  7. I’m intensely grateful for my wooden backscratchers. Seriously, they have kept me sane many times.
  8. My life would be infinitely easier if I had someone to help shoulder the load.
  9. I live alone and, for the most part, work at home, which means my “job” outfits consist mostly of fleece and flannel and fuzzy slippers. Yet I’m still compelled to make everything match down to my socks. Is that weird?
  10. It’s been years since I had a GWP (Guy With Potential) in my life. I really miss that maybe-I’ll-see-him-tonight excitement.
  11. On the other hand, I sometimes feel I’m close to being in the better-off-single stage.
  12. All of which makes me wonder how I can be content and heartbroken in my singleness at the same time.
  13. Any difficulties I’m having now—especially health-wise—will only get worse as I age. And I’m not ready for that.
  14. This is not the life I would have chosen for myself, but I am blessed to have it.

So … what are your random thoughts on singleness?



4 responses to “Mostly Random Thoughts on My Single Life

  1. Christa says:

    I can soooo relate to this 🙂

  2. Mary Shepard says:

    As a woman who is in my mid-50’s and very single, I have to say that I enjoy reading certain parts of this blog. However, I don’t completely relate to the extreme lonliness that some of you feel. I’m aware that this blog is based on Christian values, and I am here to encourage in those values. We have a God who loves us so much, we will never need anyone else’s love to feel fulfilled. The happiness in our lives should never be determined by any man. True happiness comes from God. Yes, there are days when I struggle. When it feels like I’m not desirable enough. But then I remember that if a perfect God can love me unconditionally, then it doesn’t matter what any human thinks. Know that someone desires you, and wants you, and wants you to desire him before anyone else. I do enjoy this blog, however. Keep writing, ladies!

    • sharynkopf says:

      Thank you for your honesty, Mary, and for being a regular reader at GNI. I completely agree with your assessment. In fact, I rarely feel any extreme loneliness anymore — though I did quite often in my 40s when I went through my own grief process. But now I live close to family, and God has given me a peace in my singleness. I’m more content in that respect than I’ve ever been.

      Our goal is to find the right balance between coming alongside and encouraging those who are in the midst of grief — whether because of their singleness or childlessness or both — and sharing the hope we’ve found in our individual journeys. I know many single women who are where you are, but I’ve also come into contact with many who ache with a grief so painful they feel they’ve been abandoned by God. I know because that was me just a few years ago. May we all come to a true understanding of the deep, deep love of Jesus regardless of our marital status.

      Again, thank you for being here and for reminding us that true happiness comes from God alone.

      Have a blessed weekend!

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