Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Fighting Amongst Myself

on October 2, 2015
Fighting by photostock

Image courtesy of photostock/freedigitalphotos.net.

Maybe my double-mindedness shouldn’t surprise me. James said a double-minded man is unstable (1:8) and, of course, there’s Paul’s frustrated discourse about the whole thing in Romans. If one of the founders of our faith struggled with it, why shouldn’t I?

I am of two minds—one is the-me-I-want-to-be and the other is the-me-in-the-moment. It’s why I consistently fail at losing weight. It doesn’t matter that I don’t like what I see in the mirror or in a photo or how out of breath I am after climbing a flight of stairs, the moment I crave a gummy peach ring or decide fried chicken sounds good for dinner, it’s over. The-me-in-the-moment doesn’t care.

Perhaps it’s a problem with long-term goals. I think about what is instead of what could be. I often say, “Do this for the you in five months—the you who’ll be glad you turned down that donut and only had one slice of pizza and exercised regularly. Do it for her.”

So … do I?

No, I do not.

Double-minded. Unstable. Doing what I hate. I’d think there was something seriously wrong with me if not for dear Apostle Paul*:

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

I know exactly how he feels. I know how quickly you can get to that point where you want to tear out your hair in frustration. But here’s the truth of the matter: We all fail. We all let God down.

But, hallelujah, that isn’t the end of the story. Paul adds: “I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.”

Once again we see that God rescues us, this time from ourselves. Yet we are still trapped by our sinful flesh. We don’t give up, though, because, by God’s grace, Paul then comes to a grand conclusion as he continues in chapter eight:

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

In other words, on our own we are completely helpless. Of course we fail because the-me-in-the-moment is the-me-in-the-flesh. Only by truly accepting that Jesus has set me free can I actually be free.

Have you been set free from the law of sin and death?

*Romans 7:15 – 8:2

 

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One response to “Fighting Amongst Myself

  1. Lynn Mosher says:

    As long as we’re earthbound, I’m afraid we will be dually beset. Great post, Sharyn! 😀

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