Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Have You Been in a Friendlationship?

on September 8, 2015

In her new book, The Dating Manifesto, my friend Lisa Anderson talks about the friendlationship. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s when a girl hangs out with a guy as friends. They are both unattached and do many things that may seem like they’re dating, but they aren’t in a relationship.



Oftentimes in these situations, one secretly hopes the other reciprocates their feelings and that one day their friendship will grow wings and become a relationship. We’re supposed to marry our best friends, aren’t we?

Unfortunately, the outcome is usually one person walking away heartbroken.

It’s easy to fall into this dating dilemma. I know because I’ve been there and many of my friends have also. Sadly, it’s not really dating. It’s biding time, and it clouds our vision.

Breaking free from this situation was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There wasn’t anything wrong with the man I was involved with. In fact, he was a great guy. He was charming and treated me like a lady. He made me feel like I was part of something special.

All the while, neither one of us was telling each other our true feelings. He didn’t know how I felt, and I just kept hoping his feelings would turn toward me.

They never did. He eventually began dating, really dating, another woman, and I was left with the pieces of my broken heart. To this day, he never knew how invested I was in our friendlationship.

I lost a friend, but he gained a wife.

I did learn a lesson from this whole situation. It was a tough but valuable lesson.


What about you? Have you been involved in a friendlationship?



Photo courtesy: Pixabay




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