Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

A New Job. An Old Story.

on August 13, 2015

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I started a new job. It is a temporary attorney job. Going back to my old line of work was not my preference, but this work was available, it pays better than most temporary jobs around, and it allows me to have a flexible schedule. So I am very grateful.

Before getting this job, though, I interviewed to teach at a college.

Weeks before the interview I had resigned myself to the idea that I did not seem welcome in the academy. I accepted that I do not seem to be able to produce the kind of scholarship that is valued by those who are in the academy. I made my goal and ambition to write and produce the work God was asking me to write and produce and to seek His validation. Not to seek membership in the college professor club.

Then I met some seriously Christian scholars and we hit it off. One of them, out of the blue, recommended me for the teaching job. The department chair called me in for an interview right away.

I was delighted! But also hesitant. I had already accepted, lamented and gotten over the fact that teaching in higher education was not going to happen for me. Yet here I was being invited to interview to teach. What was the Lord doing? Would I get the opportunity to teach after all?

So I prepared until I was over-prepared. The Friday afternoon interview went beautifully. I hit a home run with the hiring committee. I liked them. They liked me. The fit between my scholarship and the college’s need was perfect. They excitedly told me they would get right back to me. It seemed I would be teaching; my heart’s desire would be fulfilled.

On Monday morning, though, the department chair advised me that instead of hiring me they were canceling the course I would have taught.

I thanked them, then found another job.

I can’t help noticing how much this job development parallels my love life right now. I had accepted singleness. Then, out of nowhere, there appeared a fitting, lovely, perfect opportunity to love a man and be loved by him in return. The relationship looked promising. Hope abounded. What was the Lord doing? Would I get the opportunity to love after all?

And then the other person said he was canceling the love order he’d placed. He didn’t want a relationship with me after all.  I thanked him for his honesty and am trying to find a different path toward joy.

Am I the only one who is “blessed” with these opportunities to love what she gets, instead of getting what she’d love?

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