Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Breaking Patterns

on August 6, 2015

I have mentioned in the past how difficult it is for me to leave a crush. This happens because I find it really hard to douse the flames of love once they have been ignited. But also because my crushes continually give me reasons to keep hope alive. I feel hopeful but unsure. So, I generally ask them the question at some point, just like in elementary school: “Do you like me?”

Seeing as how I am not yet permanently coupled, you can surmise what the answer has repeatedly been.

And yet the confusing behavior from the man will continue after he has assured me he does not like me. My hopeful heart keeps believing the loving care the man is showing me, more than the words he has told me. My heart does not want to stop believing. And I can’t seem to break this holding pattern until another man comes along.

I am in crush once again. The man has said he does not like me, and yet he continues to act like he does.

This time it is different, though. This time I realize I do not like being in this place of uncertainty and insecurity about a man’s feelings. I don’t like this unprofessed kind of love. This time, my prayer has changed from one of hope to one of, “Move me on, Lord. Get me over this, please.”

I think when you are praying to not be a relationship with a man, a man whom your romantic heart cannot stop leaning toward, you have taken the first very big step on the road to being over him.

How have you gotten over a crush?


2 responses to “Breaking Patterns

  1. Oh Leasey, I know the feeling. I’ve been there and it’s never easy. I’m learning as I get older that the leaning into God asking for help moving on is the best route. Learning to take captive those thoughts is usually the best way for me to let go.

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