Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

The Grace of Friendship

on July 23, 2015
image courtesy of Aleska D./

image courtesy of Aleska D./

One of the things I am most grateful for in life is friendship.

When I was young I had all guy friends, like Elaine from Seinfeld. As I got older, I began to long for close friends who were women. Eventually, my guy friendships became less central to my life, and I began to draw closer to women friends. Until now, I tend to strike a good balance of friends with both genders.

Not only am I grateful for my friends, but I am grateful for the ways my friends and I extend grace to each other.

One of my girlfriends is having guy trouble. It is the same guy, and the same trouble she has been having for at least the past ten years. I used to feel frustrated with her for not getting it and moving on from him. Now I just want to listen and be there for her. I want to encourage her. I want to root for her as she figures out what needs to be figured out. I can be a friend who understands we all have broken places, and some of our brokenness takes a long time to heal.

One of my guy friends is having business challenges. When he told me about them I enthusiastically pointed out to him that his challenges were good. That he was in a God-orchestrated transition that was exciting! He immediately resisted me. He didn’t want to hear that the challenges he faced were good, he told me. He needed me just to listen and to be understanding. He was right. My words were insensitive. But the gift of our friendship is that he didn’t leave the conversation or end the call. He gave me grace to try again to hear as a friend hears.

Jesus valued friendship even more than I do.  He said that giving your life away for the sake of your friends was the greatest love of all. And then he gave up his life for his friends.

Do you have friends? How do you show your love for them? How do they show their love for you?


2 responses to “The Grace of Friendship

  1. What an insightful post, and what a good friend you are. Each of our friends might need a little something different from us, and at different times, they might need something even a little more different. Friendships are the places where we work those things out over time.

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