Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Nobody Cares about Your Bad Hair Day

on May 29, 2015
Bad Hair Day by imagerymajestic

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/freedigitalphotos.net.

I’ve never had any illusions about my ability to fix my own hair. In fact, I’ve often described myself as “hair-impaired.” So I’m happy any time it looks halfway decent. Typically, I prefer a messy look since, in theory, messy is easier to do. And I tell my stylist to think “simple.”

But even the best cut eventually grows out, becoming harder to manage. I’m at that point in the hair cycle right now. In the past week, I’ve liked how my hair looked once. The other times? I would pull and curl and shake and fluff and still not be happy with it. Eventually, though, the truth would hit:

“No one cares what your hair looks like, Sharyn.”

And I would cease my struggles and move on.

Now, before you say, “bless her heart,” let me share why this is not such a bad admission. People notice—and sometimes compliment you—when your hair looks good, or they might cringe when it’s a serious disaster, but my bad hair days are, I’m convinced, something only I’m aware of. It doesn’t look like I want it to. (And since I’ll never have Meg Ryan hair, it never will.) God in His wisdom and mercy has arranged things in such a way that no one else is in my head, sharing in my disappointment. This hair standard is mine alone.

Unless I tell them.

Years ago, I worked with a 12-year-old girl who wanted to perform a song in sign language for the talent portion of a local fair pageant. During one rehearsal, she made a mistake. Her face fell and she stamped her foot in frustration.

“Here’s a secret about performing,” I told her. “It’s unlikely anyone in the audience will know sign language. But whether they do or not, the only way someone will know you messed up is if you tell them with your reaction. Just keep going, pretend it’s perfect … and it can be your little secret.”

To make a short story shorter, she won the pageant.

I’ve given this advice often to actors I’m directing and students I’m teaching in public speaking classes. For the most part, people want us to do well. (And we shouldn’t worry about those who don’t.) They’re in our corner. That’s why we do tell them when life is hard or we’re struggling to find work or we’re feeling sadder than usual or we just need prayer.

Speaking of, this past week I asked for prayer on Facebook about a potential job and was overwhelmed by the show of support. So, when I say nobody cares about my bad hair day, which is really just a symptom of a bad day, that’s okay.

They care about me.

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One response to “Nobody Cares about Your Bad Hair Day

  1. nosyjosie says:

    Lovely post and great advice! What you told her about performing is so true…we sometimes make a showcase of our flaws when others aren’t even aware that they exist!

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