Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match!

on March 5, 2015

Have I mentioned that I went back to online dating?

I’m trying this time.

Image courtesy of, public download.

Image courtesy of, public download.

Sadly, the men with whom I have been matched so far are almost entirely unappealing.

I am right on the cusp of middle-age (loathe as I am to admit it). Because of this I tend to be matched with men who are fixed inside of a middle-aged comfort zone. Settled. The last thing that I am, however, is settled. These men, who are in their late 40s to early 50s, are perfectly eligible. On paper, they seem suitable for me. Yet the life they describe in their profiles, and that is reflected in their photos, strikes me as mundane in the extreme. Ball games and time at the beach, television and cooking, work and the kids. My face wrinkles and my head begins to shake back and forth in the gesture of “No” just thinking about it.

I like baseball, cooking, kids and all of these kinds of things, absolutely. I recognize the beauty and the significance that can be found in the mundane, for sure. I am happy to enjoy these kinds of experiences in my life, but I would be an extremely dissatisfied woman if these kinds of things became my life.

It seems as if the kind of man I am most often matched with has fully staged the production of his life, but unexpectedly finds he needs a replacement for the role of leading lady. It seems like these men are seeking a woman who knows the lines to the familiar story they are producing and who will fit seamlessly into their particular production of it. So that everyone will live happily ever after.

I’m familiar with the story, but I have never played that leading role and I do not know the lines.

Instead, I have been working on a new script for my own life production. It’s not finished. I am the leading lady and there is a role for a leading man, but his lines are not yet scripted. I’m hoping that, when I find my leading man, he will have some ideas of his own about who his character is and what he wants his role in this story to look like. I’m hoping he and I will finish the script together. That it will be different from how everyone expects a love story or life story to unfold, crossing all kinds of geographic, economic and ideological lines, as it most certainly will.

I hope audiences who encounter this strange and unusual life and love story will confirm that it is different, yet amazing and wonderful. This life-production my leading man and I co-produce will, I hope, continue into eternity. And we will, indeed, live happily forever after.

Thank goodness I am relying on a Matchmaker Who has no problem making marvelous matches–even out of’s algorithms’ muddles.


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