Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Thankful Thursday

on November 6, 2014

There are three Thursdays until Thanksgiving. In the spirit of the month, in celebration of my favorite time of the year, and in obedience to Scripture (“in everything give thanks”) I am going to recognize these few Thursdays as Thankful Thursdays.

Here’s a thing that I am truly thankful for this November 2014:


Image courtesy of Ohmmy3d/


This sounds somewhat depressing, I know, but truly it is a gift. For the first time in, well, ever, I am not in a friendship, relationship or non-relationship relationship with a man, nor am I looking to be in such a situation.

The opportunity has presented itself to resume an emotionally unhealthy relationship with one man-friend, or to get entangled in a non-relationship relationship with a different man-friend, or to get out there and date some new man. I have passed on all of these opportunities.

I’ve had moments of loneliness, I readily admit. Moments when I wanted to connect with someone and share some happening that I knew my man-friend would appreciate. There have been moments when I have thought to myself that even if these relationships are not satisfying, and one or both of us is being somewhat dishonest about what we want or need from the other, some kind of relationship with a man is better than none.

Despite these rumblings—of fear, really—I remained alone.

And I am so proud of this fact that I want to have a plaque made or something. To me, this period of aloneness feels like I’m accepting the uncertainties of the future without needing to reach for the security blanket of friendships steeped in confusion. I can face the uncertainty, and embrace the ambiguousness of the future; I can feel scared, or lonesome, or sexy, and not try to do anything about it. I can just feel what I feel until I feel differently. There’s no need for me to create relationships, or to create drama in relationships, to divert my attention away from my feelings.

I am thankful for the grace to be alone.

How about you? Is aloneness on your list of things you’re grateful for?


2 responses to “Thankful Thursday

  1. Carole Brown says:

    I applaud you, Alease! To have the guts, determination, and strength to be content with where/what you are/have is a blessing, and to accept it as a blessing is special. What God wants for our lives should be what we accept (maybe not WANT). Only God can then give us peace witht he decision. Thank you for this post! (It applies in lots of ways! Lol)

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