Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Blood and Tears and Online Dating

on October 10, 2014

And … another excerpt from my nonfiction book as I continue the editing process:


I’m saying that the right man for you might be out there right now, and if you don’t grab him, someone else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband.                                                                                                                                                         —When Harry Met Sally


Image courtesy of sakhorn38/

Every year or so, especially during my thirties and forties, I would decide to give Internet dating a try … again. Not one to learn from her mistakes, I tended to repeat them, which means I would sign up, laugh or cry my way through a few bad experiences, wonder what on earth I was thinking, and let my subscription lapse … again.

But time would pass, as it always does, and I would forget the bad and start to think maybe it could work. Maybe I didn’t give it enough time or email all the men I could or say the right things when I did. Maybe I was too—oh, what’s that word? Picky. Right. Maybe I was too picky. So I’d sign up and go through the whole sordid experience … again. Why? Because I could bargain my way into believing just about anything.

The heart is a lonely hunter. And, in my case, one lacking any decent weapon or even an ounce of ammunition.

Now, the various online dating sites will tell you how important it is to stick with it. These things take time and you have to invest in the process if you really want to see results. At least that’s what an eHarmony customer service rep told me. Still, devoting even a year to the, well, ugliness that is Internet matchmaking—and paying for the privilege, to boot—hardly seemed like a life-affirming idea.

On the other hand, it has brought wedded bliss to vast numbers of people. If you’re willing to take the risk that you might be one of them or accept the consequences if it doesn’t work out, why not go for it? This could very well lead you to the man of your dreams! That’s what we want, right? And so it goes.

As good as it sounds, nothing in my series of online dating excursions has led me to believe it is the path God wants me to take toward lifelong love. Oh, the stories I could tell! I wish I could say I’ve experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly, but that would be far too optimistic.

What about you? Have you journeyed into the world wide web of dating? If so, how did it go?


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