Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Love (Among Friends) Is a Beautiful Thing

on October 2, 2014
Image courtesy of Ambro/

Image courtesy of Ambro/

It is fall. The season of layering and falling leaves, of firelight and football and cuddling up to ward off the chill.

Perhaps it’s the changing of the seasons that has me feeling despondent lately. I have been wishing for love. But a trip I took recently, which necessitated my sharing a room with another woman, renewed my flagging spirits.

Joanne is single, so, naturally, we had conversations about love. She told me about her recent break-up with her boyfriend of four years. I told her about my string of “just friends”: the just-a-friend who I had to break up with this past summer, the just-a-friend that I made in Cape Town, the cute guy on campus who is my new just-a-friend. In the telling of all these stories, I came to realize how ridiculous it is for me to feel despondent, and how fortunate I actually am.

I am perpetually and reluctantly single, true. But I am not alone. It has been my absolute good fortune to come into the acquaintance of men who truly have been wonderful friends to me. The just-a-friend I broke up with this past summer was amazingly supportive of and available to me. The just-a-friend I met in Cape Town was a phenomenal listener and imparter of wisdom. The new just-a-friend has shown me kindness, gentleness and understanding at the most unexpected moments.

They are not perfect, nor perfect for me. They do not want to get married or, at least, not to me. But they have been blessings to me. These are good men that I have known.

Their friendship has been a gift. There are people in romantic relationships who have not experienced the kind of emotional closeness and friendship that I have experienced with my just-friends. Yet, I’ve always taken this for granted.

No more. I am no longer despondent that I have yet to come into a life-long love. Instead I feel gratitude and joy that there have been men whose love and friendship have brought joy and gladness to my heart.


4 responses to “Love (Among Friends) Is a Beautiful Thing

  1. Carole Brown says:

    Nice. Sometimes it takes awhile to realize how “blest” we are. 🙂

  2. Good post, Leasey. It’s easy to get caught up in what we don’t have and forget to appreciate what we do have.

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