Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Information Bombed

on June 26, 2014

Confession. Despite my deep and abiding love for Jesus, I was also a huge fan of Sex and the City.

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono/

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono/

The made-for-TV version hooked me. I was recently reminded of one episode in particular. Carrie, the main character of the show, met a new guy, Jack Berger, and had a flirtatious extended meeting/impromptu date with him. After much conversation, walking and shared laughter, she decided to invite him to attend an event with her. He responded by casually telling her that his “girlfriend’s parents are coming over to visit them,” so he couldn’t make it.

Carrie described it as a bomb going off again and again. Girlfriend. Live together. Parents. Serious relationship. It was one of those disorienting moments that stretch on and on as one tries to process the information they’ve just received.

Life imitated art for me in the past couple of days.

Image courtesy of Graur Razvan Ionut/free digital

Image courtesy of Graur Razvan Ionut/

I have been having a lovely little flirtation with a guy for the last week or so. Every time we see each other there is conversation, laughter, friendly touches on the arm, etc. I like him. I like that he liked me. Then one day as we were casually chatting, a bomb was dropped.

He said, “So what are your plans for the night?”

I replied, “This and that. How about you?”

He responded, “I’m going to a thing with my girlfriend where she’s being honored.”

In the split second that followed, my world tilted. Girlfriend. Being honored for something. Accompanying. Serious relationship.

It really was like a repeating detonation.

I’m sure my surprise — and dismay — registered on my face. And I couldn’t help it at all. I wish that I had had something to say in response to the bombshell news of the girlfriend. Instead, all I could manage was something about having heard of the event they were planning to attend.

Why didn’t he mention her sooner? Where has she been all this time that we have been palling around? What is he doing palling around with me if he’s got a girlfriend, anyway?

Different continent, different country, different culture, same dating dilemmas.

I will say, though, that this revelation was an answer to prayer. I had been wondering if this guy might be someone special, and prayed about our budding relationship. Praise the Lord I didn’t spend weeks and months reaching for a gift that was already sold.

I do wonder though, what might be a better way of handling a conversation where a man drops this kind of bombshell news? Have you ever had to navigate a verbally delicate situation?



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