Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

The Sanctuary of Romance

on May 29, 2014
Image courtesy of digital art/

Image courtesy of digital art/

Before I began my summer adventure in Cape Town I prayed and hoped a summer romance — leading to marriage and babies and matching drapes in the living room — might be on the agenda. Now that I have arrived and have begun to experience some of the city and the people, however, my prayer has changed to the exact opposite.

“Lord, please hold my heart in check and DO NOT let me become infatuated with anyone here.”

Here’s why: I forgot that the people I am meeting are mostly in my ministry setting. Romance, under the circumstances, would be disastrous. This is a fact of life that I have learned the hard way.

This got me to thinking, though. How many of us singles have attempted romance, successfully or not, in our local churches?  My instincts tell me that probably not many of us. From what I have heard from fellow Christian singles, we are not in the position of lamenting romance that has gone wrong in the church, as much as we find ourselves lamenting the lack of opportunity for romance in the church.

Sometimes, though, the inevitable happens and some new, single man arrives at our house of worship.  He loves God, serves faithfully in ministry, is cute and has the same quirky sense of humor that you have. Unbidden dreams of a happily-ever-after with this man, and prayers to God about hopefully dating this man, and imagined reciprocated romantic feelings from this man, commence. And persist. Either until he ends up with someone else, or until he leaves the church, or both.  You are then left alone and disappointed.

You are familiar with this scenario, right?

What I wonder is if there is any way of avoiding this. Are we singles supposed to not notice a new cute guy? Are we not supposed to hope that this new cute guy might be someone special? Or are we supposed to be friendly and open and make it clear we are interested?

What should we older singles do about romance in the church?


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