Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Letting Go

on May 7, 2014
Image courtesy of Pakorn/freedigitalimage.net

Image courtesy of Pakorn/freedigitalimage.net

Let go. If ever there were words to live by, these would be the words. I want to live in the present, fully trusting in the Lord’s love for me. Trusting that He will provide for all of my needs. I want to experience peace, joy and abundant life. I want to let go of my cares, worries and anxieties about the future. I want to simply live, and to live simply.

But I am beginning to wonder whether letting go is, in fact, possible. The heart wants what it wants. The head may say, “I am letting go,” but the heart clings to what the head has released.

I have pondered over whether this is what the crucifixion is about. We do not follow the example of one who committed suicide. We are not called to inflict a fatal wound to ourselves. Crucifixion happens to us, and when it does we are called to endure the suffering, pain and loss and to trust God for resurrection.

It feels like letting go inflicts a fatal wound to my heart. Letting go feels like killing hope, when the flow of hope through my soul is as vital to my life as the flow of blood through my body.

To let go of my dreams, my loves, my ambitions, my will, feels exactly the same as letting go of hope for my future. Perhaps my plans and my will need to be put to death, but I cannot be the executioner. No, death of my dreams cannot come by my own hand. It must be imposed by another or by circumstances.

Death has to come from an unequivocal rejection of my affection, from repeated failure despite my wholehearted efforts, from dreams deferred for so long that the delay becomes an irrevocable denial, from vicissitudes of life that rob me of the will to keep fighting.

Maybe trouble, heartache and pain come and put parts of me to death. And maybe only then do my hands open. Maybe only then can I let go.  Only then can I encounter the miraculous power and purposes of the Lord.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalimage.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalimage.net

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One response to “Letting Go

  1. Carole Brown says:

    So true, Alease! The only way I succeed is to get to the place where I can FINALLY turn it over to God. That’s hard, when my mind insists I can do this (or can’t, as the situation may be). My heart may know better, but letting go and letting God is the best way. Good post!

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