Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Oh, Just Hug Me Already!

on April 25, 2014
Hug Me

Image courtesy of stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net


We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
                                                                                                            ~Virginia Satir

In other words, I’m way behind. For a good portion of my life, I was fortunate if I fell into one hug a week. Since moving close to my family, though, I’ve seen that number increase exponentially … to maybe 12 hugs a week. It’s been nice.

That’s per week, not per day, however, so I’m still behind. Which means, according to Virginia, the dearth of affection in my life is killing me even now. So this has become another one of those things I don’t let myself think about. Apparently I’ve spent most of my life barely surviving.

But I did survive.

Knowing you are proof that a person can survive without physical touch should be somewhat disheartening. And, in several ways, it is. Over the years, though, I’ve become quite adept at shrugging off stuff like this. A person can’t spend her life moaning about unfairness. In fact, I would go so far as to tell Virginia that working out how many hugs people need a day might just be a sweet attempt to fix a first-world problem.

[Except for infants and kids, of course. Anyone still working through the process of becoming a grownup should be hugged as often as possible. I make sure my nieces and nephews get plenty of cuddles with their Aunt Sharyn, whether they want them or not. Fortunately, they don’t seem to mind.]

I don’t mean to diminish the importance of physical touch in our lives. But is it a good idea to measure our success as a human being by what’s missing? To do so seems to say God may not know what He’s doing and has, somehow, made a horrible mistake.

“Just FYI, God — if you don’t send someone to hug me on a daily basis, I’m going to die! Do you want me to die?!”

Silly children that we are, we tend to see things — OK, I tend to see things — through the lenses of what would enhance our lives, like getting more hugs, instead of how we can speak Gospel truth into someone’s else’s day.

Advertisers know that to get their audience’s attention, they have to plant their feet firmly in the shoes of the person they’re trying to reach. And they do that by recognizing their audience’s one basic question: “What’s in it for me?”

That’s a fine question to ask when it comes to spending your hard-earned cash. But not so much when we’re working on our holiness.

After all, if “my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19), I don’t see any need to count hugs.

But I still won’t turn one down. 🙂

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2 responses to “Oh, Just Hug Me Already!

  1. Carole Brown says:

    Cyber hug from a friend winging it’s way to you tonight. Have a great weekend.

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