Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

A Room (or Apartment) of One’s Own

on March 27, 2014
Image courtesy of sattiva/

Image courtesy of sattiva/

For the last ten years or so I have lived with others. After 9/11 I moved in with family and, for one reason or another, remained with family for over 7 years.

Then in 2012 I decided to return to school, and realized that after living so long with others I did not want to live alone. I liked having people around. So I moved into an “intentional living community.”

I had four very different roommates, but we shared a common love for Christ and a commitment to intentionally building community with one another.

Last year I moved in with one of my classmates from school. Between my plans to spend the upcoming summer in South Africa and her graduating this year, it seems that our roommate situation is about to come to an end. It would also seem that for the first time in a very long time, I will move into a place alone.

One of the reasons I enjoy living with other people — aside from having readily available social contact — is that it forces me to be conscious of servant-hood. It challenges me to be more patient, more sacrificial, more considerate and less self-centered. Being single, living alone and becoming persnickety about my preferences for groceries, my preferences for toilet tissue, my preferences for brands of cleaning supplies, for placement of candles, for managing wet umbrellas, for fabric softener, for bedtime and quiet time and movie time, and all the rest of my preferences, is a very real risk for me as an older single woman.

I do not want to be a persnickety spinster. Nonetheless, I feel the time may be right for me to return to living alone. As I have been praying about it I have sensed the Lord nudging me to leave the little nest I have made for myself in the comfort of other people’s homes and to be open to more — more opportunities for hospitality, for fostering children, for cooking regularly, for creating beauty in my environment, for quietness and reflection.

More sounds good to me.

How about you? What contributed to you choosing either to live alone or to live with others?


2 responses to “A Room (or Apartment) of One’s Own

  1. Carole Brown says:

    Good questions to think about.

  2. sharynkopf says:

    I know what you mean, Leasey — I’ve had roommates & I’ve lived alone & both have their pros & cons. But having a roommate forces you to compromise, which is an important trait to have for those of us still praying for marriage.

    That said, I haven’t had the opportunity for a roommate in over 5 years. So I’m very used to living alone & getting one now would require some heavy-duty adjustments.

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