Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Is He (Christian) Man Enough?

on March 20, 2014
Icon of Jesus and the Apostles

Icon of Jesus and the Apostles

As Christian women, we are constrained to pursue romantic relationships only with men who are Christians, right? This issue seems to get murkier the more I try to figure it out. I mean, just how Christian is Christian enough?

One  friend was dating a man, whom we’ll call Paul, who was completely good to her. He listened, he supported, he encouraged, he sacrificed his time, his money and his own desires to accommodate her wishes. Paul made changes and adjustments to his lifestyle just to suit her. In the year of their friendship, my friend found Paul to be a man of faithful character and to be full of integrity.

But, although Paul was baptized as an infant and raised in a Christian home, he doesn’t like church, does not attend (except when my friend asks), and does not profess to be a Christian, even though he does believe that Jesus is Lord.

Then there is Doug. Doug has spent most of his life around, but not a part of, the church. Within the last year, however, he committed wholeheartedly to following Jesus. He visited several churches and decided to join my friend’s church. In the process of taking the month-long membership class, Doug met my friend and they began to date. As my friend — who has served the Lord for many years — noted, Doug is young in the things of God. His work and relationship background is questionable. Who knows if his commitment to Christ will endure?

One of the men whom I dated recently — we’ll call him Jack — has been a Christian for most of his life. He was raised in the church and still attends the one where he grew up, serving there as a deacon and, formerly, as a trustee. Jack sincerely has faith in God, albeit in a  personal, unspoken kind of way. He does not have a devotional life, but does consistently attend church, as long as service does not interfere with his plans to fish, watch a ball game or hang out with the guys on Sunday afternoons.

All three of these men seem perfectly eligible. But do any of them pass muster spiritually? What spiritual standards are we to be guided by when we are evaluating relationships?


2 responses to “Is He (Christian) Man Enough?

  1. Carole Brown says:

    Who knows? My opin (and mine only: 🙂 ) is: both should be compatible in their beliefs. If it’s really important to the woman to have a husband attending church every Sunday beside her, then she’ll be happy finding a man who does/will do that. If having devotions is part of her life, she should look for someone who feels the same way. Sigh. Hard to find, I know. 😦

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