Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Making Big Moves

on February 18, 2014
Image Courtesy: baitong333/

Image Courtesy: baitong333/

Late in 1993, I decided it was time for me to strike out on my own. I had been supporting myself for the last six years, but I lived in the same city as my parents so they were always there for me when something went wrong. It was great to have them behind me, but a nagging voice inside kept telling me I wasn’t really capable of taking care of myself.

A few months later everything changed.

I visited Oregon, fell in love with the state, and found a job through the only friend I had there. Two weeks before Christmas in 1993, I packed my beloved blue Mercury Topaz and, with my teddy bear beside me, drove north on I-25 out of the state that had been my home for the last 14 years.

Somewhere after crossing the Colorado/Wyoming border, I cried tears of fear and anxiety. I arrived in my new home of Salem, Oregon, late the next day and started work a few days later. I was scared to death, but quite proud of myself for taking such a big step.

Moving is a stressful time regardless of your marital status. There’s so much to take into consideration–a place to live, getting the utilities hooked up, finding new friends, starting new jobs and more. I grew up as a military brat, so moving was commonplace for me. I never expected this move would be such a big deal. But I’d forgotten that all those moves involved someone else handling the tough stuff.

I have to admit that moving across country, like buying a house, was one of those things I never expected to do by myself. There were many times during those first few months when I wondered if I had lost my mind. Since it was too expensive to pick up and move back home, I made the best of it.

During the six years I lived in Oregon, I learned a lot about myself. I found that I was stronger and more capable than I knew. I built a life and realized I could live on my own. I also came to know just how important my family was to me–especially since they were so far away.

This one big move became a major part of who I am today. It defined my capabilities as a single person. Now, whenever life hands me something big and scary, I try to remember what it was like feeling alone in a strange state and I try to remember: I can do this!

What is the biggest thing you’ve done as a single person? How do you think it would have been different if you had been married?


5 responses to “Making Big Moves

  1. Carole Brown says:

    I feel for you! It’s always scary a little to strike out no matter how you do it, but my yourself! Bravo!. I enjoy reading about brave women even when they’re scared. 🙂

  2. sharynkopf says:

    Like John Wayne said, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” 🙂

  3. sharynkopf says:

    I have made so many of these kinds of moves, Tammie, & it’s still unnerving, especially handling all of it on your own. So far, I’ve lived in 8 states — from Iowa to Michigan (back to Iowa) to New York to Vermont to Indiana (back to Iowa) to Missouri to Colorado then, finally, to Ohio.

    No plans at this time to try a 9th one but, then, I thought Colorado would be my last home state. You just can’t know what God has in mind!

    Of course, if I didn’t love being this close to family I’d move back to CO in a heartbeat.

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