Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

When You’re Tired of Juggling Everything

on February 4, 2014

The life of a single person is often misunderstood. Recently, a married friend told me single people have it easier because they don’t have as many constraints on their time. I don’t necessarily agree with that.

Granted, I don’t have a husband or children, but I do have a job, a family and church commitments. Additionally, I have the same obligations of grocery shopping, laundry and housecleaning as my married friend. My constraints may be different, but they’re still constraints.

We all have the tendency to believe our life is harder than the next person’s. But our lives are different, and we shouldn’t judge each other. Since I’ve never been married or had kids, I can’t truly know how hard my friend’s life is.

And she married early in her 20s, so she doesn’t have any basis for judging life as an unmarried 40-something. Those of us who have been unattached forever know that being single at 20 is vastly different from being single at 40.

Image courtesy renjith Krishnan/

Image courtesy renjith Krishnan/

But one thing I can say about singleness: Sometimes I get tired of juggling all the pins. When the furnace goes out and the cat needs surgery and the car needs brakes, it all falls on me because I am the master of my house. I don’t mind handling everything, but it can get overwhelming.

I’m sure if I were married and all the above things happened within a matter of months it would be just as overwhelming. At the end of the day, though, it’s just me and sometimes I would love to lean on a husband and say, “It’s too much. I can’t take anymore.” Often I just long for someone to hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay. To know that someone else understands my burden because they share that burden.

Overall, I am thankful for the freedom my single life affords me in that I can make decisions without consulting with a husband. And my work and ministry decisions don’t have to take into account anyone else. But there are days when I would trade that freedom to be able to share my life. To have someone who is as invested in my decisions as I am.

I know married life isn’t easy and shared decision-making can be complicated. I don’t believe being married would make my life an instant fairy tale.

But sometimes I just want another pair of hands to make sure the pins stay in the air.

How do you handle it when you’re overwhelmed with doing life alone?


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