Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

Snowed In

on January 27, 2014


I don’t know about you, but here in Ohio we’ve been trapped in the cold and snow of The Polar Vortex for most of  2014.

Tonight, I had plans to join friends for dinner and games. But, reluctantly, we decided to reschedule for next week. Hopefully. So here I sit, writing and watching reruns of King of Queens. My cat sleeps nearby and I haven’t talked to a single person since last night.

Do you have days like that? If you’re like me, some days that’s fine; other times it’s not.

I recently read this quote by self-help author Wayne Dyer: “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”

Well, no offense to Wayne but I have to disagree. I think it’s quite possible to like yourself and still feel lonely. Actually, the very definition of the word makes this claim impossible. According to Merriam-Webster, it means “sad from being apart from other people.” Loneliness stems from being alone. Actually, physically alone.

Of course, feeling comfortable and content with who you are does make those lonely times easier to get through. And, especially, if you recognize your worth in God’s eyes, you will know loneliness isn’t permanent.

The first thing God noticed about Adam in Genesis 2 was his solitude — his need for other people. Adam had a face-to-face relationship with his Creator, yet God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.” I think it’s telling that God made this observation, then immediately did something about it by creating Eve.

And think about Adam — he didn’t have Daddy issues or low self-esteem or bad days at work. His life was perfect, complete with the ideal place and weather and health. He had everything . . . yet still felt lonely. The ache he had was not the result of disliking himself. It was a result of needing to be with other people. Because that’s how God is — relational — and God made Adam to be the same way.

He made us that way too.

This is how I know He gets it. I can come to Him in my loneliness and He understands. Though He hasn’t brought me a partner like He did Adam, He has comforted me through other relationships. I’ve learned to trust His love for me.

How do you handle your loneliness? Have you felt God’s presence in your solitude?


4 responses to “Snowed In

  1. Jackie M. Johnson says:

    Good post! It helps to know that God is WITH US in our solitude and all the time.

  2. Oh how I can relate to this, Sharyn. With being sick I actually went 3 days without any outside interaction recently and found myself going a little crazy :o)

  3. sharynkopf says:

    Yes, when we’re sick it’s even worse, Tammie. I wrote about this quite a lot in Spinstered. Realizing the only living being you’ve talked to in the last 24 hours is your cat can be a little disconcerting. But I’ve gotten so used to it, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

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