Girls Night In

the blog for single, over-40 women

How to Be a Better Dater in 5 Easy Steps

on January 16, 2014

IMG_1571Though Thursdays will usually feature our dating stories, I thought I’d start out with a few fun tips to get us thinking about dating a little differently (or dating period) in 2014.

1)   Prioritize:  Make socializing a priority. When we are over 40, unmarried, and have lived alone for a number of years without having been in a serious relationship, the temptation is very real to place intentional socializing with single men low on our list of priorities. Socializing tends to end up somewhere near cleaning out the trunk of the car.  Let’s make going out a priority. More like, say, putting gas in the car.

2)   Partner: Dating is done best in community. I’m not talking about going on group dates, but about having a friend, or friends, who will be supportive partners in your efforts to date. This person should be someone you are able to share with freely, who will give you honest feedback, and check in with you periodically about how things are going.  This person should be motivated to pray for you.

3)   Plan:  Socializing takes planning. You will have to plan where you will go and make room in your schedule. You will have to budget for the cost of the events, and for the apparel you might need to buy and wear to said events (give yourself permission to spend this money, if you have it). Plan to go to events or activities where men are likely to be present, e.g., auto/boat/atv shows, games and competitions, sports lessons, superhero-themed events.

4)   Pretty Up:  Look your best. If it’s been a while since you had a makeover, or wardrobe update, now might be a good time to refresh your look. Every time you leave the house, make an effort to look good. Every time. Stop saying, “I want someone to accept me as I am.” Prettying up is mostly about you, not someone else. How you feel often shows through in how you present yourself to the world. But it works the other way around as well. If you look smart, successful and cute on the outside, it might help you feel smart, successful and cute on the inside.

5)   Pray:  Be in constant conversation with the Lord about this. Dating requires courage, resilience, long-suffering and great faith. It is hard to be vulnerable and to risk rejection. We need God’s help not only as we date, but even to attempt to date at all.  Fortunately, the Lord is willing to provide all the help we need as we boldly approach the throne of grace.

So, are you hopeful and anticipating new adventures in your dating life? Do you have any of your own dating suggestions for older singles to consider? Or have you kissed dating goodbye once and for all at this point in your life?

Let’s talk and encourage one another!


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